Friday night

In the course of an evening's informal social, which started at a few of the guys' apartments and ended in an unknown bar/club, I got:
- bitten on the shoulder
- two offers to show me around when I visit Switzerland and Germany (weekends can be co-ordinated)
- charming, if extravagant, gestures by a frenchman and an italian in kissing my hand
- two requests for lapdances
and
- bisous from three guys and a girl

No I wasn't the most attractive, or wildest girl on the scene. On the contrary, I was one of the most reserved girls among those who stayed long enough to go to the club:
- Quite a few girls got bitten on the shoulder.
- I am fairly confident that the frenchman and italian go around attempting to charm the pants off every girl with their elaborate, enchanting quirks.
- I got lapdance requests because I was one of the maybe 2, or 3 conservative (prudish??) girls who went to the club who didn't go anywhere near giving any of the boys anything remotely resembling a lapdance. I like my space when dancing.
- And all the girls got bisous when they left.

Yes, over here, if you're flamboyant enough, or have enough flair, everyone is everyone's good friend for five seconds. Smile, laugh, be beautiful and/or dirty dance, and you're gain acceptance into the "in" crowd, and will never lack guys waiting on you hand and foot.

Despite accusations by an American, I don't believe I'm a prude. I think I am very open-minded, liberal, and progressive for having lived in a conservative Asian society all my life. At most levels, I don't mind the whole dirty-dancing, grinding thing at a nightclub. But I do feel uncomfortable seeing it being done a lot of the time, and it's not at all my thing. At least never with guys. And only with girls if I have been forcibly pulled in and don't want to embarrass the girl.

Tonight, I saw such things going between guys and girls, some of whom I have heard have girlfriends/boyfriends/wife. That really shocks me. And now I am seriously reconsidering dating any Continental Europeans at all. (Maybe I should just strike out the French and Italians - historically the ones I most preferred, being sexy and passionate. The Germans all seem proper and orthodox, if possibly boring, enough.)

What I saw made me think: I'm not saying that sexual discrimination doesn't exist in banking. I think despite the official line, sexual discrimination is alive and well - the invisible glass ceiling, boys' culture etc.

But I'm wondering if some of the recent big hoo-hah in the press, with million-dollar class action suits against investment banks for alleged disrespect of women, is overblown. Perhaps some of the blame lie with the women?

Fun is all well and good. And behaving intimately with male friends isn't at all a problem with me. But is it really wise to engage in intimate behaviour with male colleagues who you will be seeing maybe for the rest of your life? I mean, if they later turn around and treat you almost as a sex object, can you blame them? Given that you have had a history of such friendly behaviour with them. They might just get used to it, and treat it in the spirit of good fun, which may become detrimental later in your career when you have to assert your authority and exude control. Boys being boys, or really, humans being humans, people will talk. Word might spread around your peer group, if not trickle down to subordinates.

All in all, I enjoyed myself. I'm glad I forced myself to go out, when I was sorely tempted to stay home, surf the net, and be depressed and anti-social. Plus, I really enjoyed dancing. I haven't in a long while.